Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
