So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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