Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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