I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
