Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
