What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
