the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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