do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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