We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
