i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
