I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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