u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I deserve this hangover.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
