If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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