So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
