I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
