My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
