Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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