if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
