I feel like I'm in dance class right now
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
