Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
