i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
