So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
