Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
