And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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