he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize