So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
