I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
