so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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