How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
