These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My vagina is very pro this idea
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
