The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
