Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
