Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
