You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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