You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
