I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize