I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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