I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
How's work?
Spinning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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