Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
