ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
