Can i not drive my cunt home
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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