I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize