Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
