I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
