So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My life is pants optional.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
