i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
