i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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