sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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