i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
babies were throwing up all over the place
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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