Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
