I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
