And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Randomize