Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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