Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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