'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
wow bdsm is so cute
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