Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
