I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
