I love black thongs
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
