Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
