our cab driver is having phone sex.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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