hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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