Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
