We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
