In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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