her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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