You're so nebulous sometimes
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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