tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
