Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
