like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
