Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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