She's JV to your varsity
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
