I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
